Parleys Canyon Riders: Sexy Legs Bounces Back From “Grand Slam”

His entire life Sexy Legs has aspired to be a great tennis player like his father Tony, who was one Major shy of a Grand Slam in the tennis world. Realizing he was too old to conquer courts of clay, turf and concrete as his farther did, Sexy Legs achieved his “Grand Slam”, but of another sort, during a heli-skiing trip. After three days of adrenaline highs shushing down the snowy slopes of Kamchatka, the helicopter in which his group traveled crashed on the snowy mountain leaving him and his comrades trapped in a hospital located in the remote town of Petropavlovsk (little Man, you get 50 bucks if you can pronounce that name on your first try without the benefit of Google). Fortunately, everyone made it out alive.

In the depths of depression from chiding by fellow PCRs because the Salt Lake Tribune scooped the story on Sexy Legs, this Saturday PCR’s own BIG MAN conducted an exclusive, in-person, Barbra Waltersesque (he even looks like her more and more each day that passes) interview of Sexy Legs and his far better half, Dinny. During the interview Sexy Legs beamed with confidence (that might have something to do with the X-rays taken of him with an X-ray machine of Stone Age vintage used at the Russian hospital) that he will have a full and speedy recovery and will be back on his bike in four months ready for LOTOJA and to beat every PCR--even without any summertime training. Sadly his ambition is true. What Old Man Bruner said during this Saturday’s ride is true: “there is no glory beating BIG MAN”. The same is true of all other PCRs. Dinny expressed hope that Sexy Legs will come to his senses, grow up and limit his “extreme athletic” endeavors to activities performed on solid unfrozen dry ground (Sexy Legs, tennis courts fit that description) within the boundaries of the good old US of A. Sexy Legs became emotional as he recounted the outpouring of the moral and financial support he received from friends and family. Our prayers go out to you and your family. BIG MAN guarantees you that through his persistence, LOTOJA will give you admittance next year without charge. The following is the riveting interview:

On a mundane note, Saturday remnants of the PCRs rode together during the same time frame, although at different locations. The Reorganized PCRs participated in the Front Runner Century. little Indian claims he was victorious, but he did not explain how. The authentic PCRs started out together on their trek to East Canyon, but then the “great stratification” began early on. Over dressed Prez. Hale had to stop to remove articles of clothing and take a picture of the beautiful sunrise. Like a true band (with high elasticity) of brothers the others left him behind. Affected by hanging out with BIG MAN for so long, Prez. Hale went on a photo spree (see the awesome photos below). Mr. MBA claimed it was just an excuse for him to go slow. Mr. MBA never was very good at exercising discretion when opening his mouth! The group was also honored by special guest appearances of Mrs. Bullwinkle and her brother TR.

Saturday also marked a milestone in BIG MAN's marriage. He was actually brought to heel by his better half. He cut short his ride at the midpoint to arrive home safely within the period of time he promised. Jodi, please share with the PCRs the brand name of the shock collar you used to achieve this remarkable result so that they are better able to control him during future rides. If you do, they are likely to be home two hours earlier. But on second thought, maybe you would prefer that he stay out longer on his rides. They wouldn’t blame you!

YIPPY SKIPPY