Parleys Canyon Riders: Big Man Turns 66

This last weekend Big Man, aka, "White Noise", "Patches", "Woody" etc. turned 66. So he took a scary collection of people on an All Hollows Blue Moon/Day bike ride parade. Like all rides on which he tries to take charge, it was a circus. The judges who witnessed the spectacle have doled out the following awards:

"Best costume" goes to GQ for his wig of flowing hair (longing for when he had more of it) and Jimmy Buffet wannabe shirt. GQ may be a good looking guy, but he is a butt ugly woman!

"Best color coordinated outfit" goes to, of course, Sexy legs who came dressed to the "nines" with a color coordinated helmet, kit, bike and shoes!

"Most Stunned Look" goes to JT and his better half Merri-I hate Pop-Tarts-Anne who by the looks of their faces most likely were secretly wondering how they ever got tangled up with the group.

"The least likely to pass a sobriety test from the appearance of his serpentine approach to climbing hills" goes to Prez, who is recovering from surgery and has been ordered by the doctor not to climb up hills on his bike.

"The most likely to succeed at how to tell others how to succeed in business" goes DQ/MBA, who, while he forgot to wear his MBA kit, took a business like approach to fixing his flat tire. (Next time bring a spare that doesn't have a hole it)

Because his daily exercising routine begins long before the sun rises, the "Rising Star" award goes to Max, Big Man's son, who oddly enough has not received a moniker from his old man.

"David Crosby Look-A-Like" goes to Mr. T. He says he's going to cut his golden locks if Trump wins.

"Best New Gloves, which you can't get on if your hands are sweaty" goes to David "Lefty" Meek. "You guys go ahead, really. It might take me a while to get these on." (Whew, I'm glad they left, I was really sweating like a pig trying to stay in the pace line)

And last and certainly not least the "I never saw a shiny object that I didn't want to chase" award goes to Big Man, who made the group wander around the south and eastern portions of the Salt Lake Valley in a labyrinthian route that would have easily confused the Minotaur. Big Man, thanks for being the "glue" that helped form the crazy collection of cyclists. We wish you a happy birthday and hope you never lose your youthful exuberance!

YIPPY SKIPPY