Parleys Canyon Riders: I Have Announcement To Make

(Words uttered by Little Indian to his tribal members after a long day riding his bike)

Did we tell you we rode our bikes 206 miles through 3 states in one day? (Don’t ask how long it took.) After long spring and summer hours of training (sort of) the big day arrived on September 9^th. The remnants of the PCRs participated in the 35^th annual LOTOJA. Jodi and Kathy were good sports and supported the team. They discovered on their fifth time that they can follow the biking route without being busted, instead of following the rules and traveling the off-the-beaten-trail that is long way around to support their men. Jodi, Big Man is rubbing off on you. Don’t be fooled by Messrs. MBA and Big Man’s times, they were bandits (big surprise) and started early so their reported times are actually better than their actual times (which aren’t anything to write home about and why they started early is a whole other story)

This was Mr. MBA’s first time attempting the race. His attempt to break the LOTOJA land speed record was frustrated by—you guessed it--Big Man’s delays due to chasing shinny objects. Eventually Mr. MBA learned to leave Big Man behind and Big Man learned to reduce the amount of time spent gawking at distractions. This was the fifth time Prez. and Big Man rode 206 miles through three states in one day. (Are you getting tired of hearing that phrase?)

They will pick up their awards next year.

Dr. Ludlow managed to arrive in Logan with a few hours to spare. While he claims to have ridden in the race no one saw him do it, and it is not recorded on Strava--so it did not happen. Better luck next year Dr. Ludlow. Little Indian and his tribe decided they weren’t up to 206 miles in one day through three states, so they participated in the relay. Man up next year boys and do the whole thing, even if the youngsters have to pay. (Little Indian, you know what we are talkin’ about.) Mr. Morgan Daines had his bike hand delivered to the race and taken home, but not sure if he either rode the race. There were rumors some saw him on the Snake River, fishing.

Big Man continues to suffer from cleat-in mouth-disease. Now image you are the organizer of the enormous event with thousands of riders cycling—you guessed it— 206 miles through three states in one day. You set up a station 3 miles from the finish line to encourage the cyclists to “hang in there”. The race has been going for nearly 12 hours. You are cooking brats, offering soft drinks and other goodies to exhausted, smelly riders as they prepare to finish the race. You have spent thousands of hours coordinating with many governmental agencies, listened to endless complaints, but the event is nearly in the books. A cyclist, let’s say its Big Man, takes advantage of the kind offering of the organizer. Now bear in mind Big Man has a philosophy that a “complaint” is actually a gift. So, not knowing the kind person Big Man was talking to was the organizer, Big Man approaches him and says: “This is the celebration of the 35^th LOTOJA. I LOVE THIS RACE! However, I would like to make a suggestion. With such a significant occasion, I would have thought the organizers would have given better T shirts.” The organizer revealed that he was the one who selected the material and that it was finer than any used before. The author of the prologue did not stick around to hear what happened next, so you will have to get Big Man’s side of the story. Suffice it to say his mouth is now the shape of his cleat!

The PCRs finished together. At the finish line Prez. had a surprise of his parenthood. He was majorly depressed the entire ride because none of his children called, texted or emailed him words of encouragement and Big Man sprinted past him to beat him to the top of the KOM climb. It turns out they surprised him by being at the finish line! He was a HAPPY Dad!

Mr. MBA made it to the airport just in the nick of time to catch his flight after realizing that UBER in Jackson Hole at 5;30AM is NO where to be found. And none of the finishers vowed NOT to do it again next year. We will have to see what time and weight does to them.

YIPPY SKIPPY