Parleys Canyon Riders: The Journey is the Thing ~Homer~

206 Miles through 3 States in Just Under 1 Day

The Spring and Summer Before the Day

With springtime came expanding day-light hours,

Signaling time to shed winter coats in preparation for that big Day;

Time to sacrifice on dusty rutted roads,

‘Neath starlit skies, summer’s blazing sun and oft against unforgiving wind;

Serenity found atop conquered mountains,

Rosy hued skylines, sun-kissed mountain peaks and streams passed along the way;

Rolling along pain abounds as we labored up the hills,

Eyes sting from sweat, as oxygen deprive thighs throb while turning into steel;

Falling victim to vice, all absorbed in the sport,

Watching Strava, spending time and our paychecks at cycling stores;

Poignant moments shared of friendships forged in the past,

Of a biking brother with us those his words and deeds still echo in our lives;

Tell-tale signs of hours spent upon hardened seats,

Sporting farmer’s tans, pasty hands and hardened derrieres;

Scents bearing proof summer’s spent as we labor in a line,

Of the roadkill cast aside and sweet smells of wet dry grass;

Countless hours patient spouses waited as sacrifices we made in anticipation of that Day,

Saintly forgiveness they have given of insane persistence and supported us that Day;

Culmination of madness, frustration, and endurance from spring to nearly fall,

Just for satisfaction to endure 206 miles and 3 states for the better part of just one Day.

The Day finally arrived. All the hours spent toiling to make sure that they could at least finish LOTOJA were about to be tested. The A Team, Messrs. Baddley, Pynes, Nelson, Daines, Ludlow and Bruner were never within the county’s distance of C Team members, Big Man and Prez. Hale.

Big Man’s antics began at the gate clear through the long trip home. At the starting gate he was warned that he would be DQ’d because he was starting an hour early. With a classic smirk he said “I don’t care” and took off in the race category with Prez. Hale. It didn’t take more than five minutes before his next one occurred. He forgot to turn on his Strava app. Big surprise! There was no way he was not going to get credit for the ride and suffer heckling by Mr. MBA. So they paused for what seemed like an eternity as Big Man fumbled for his phone to activate the app. It took just 30 miles of riding before the next one occurred, which was a detour he insisted upon. He wanted to shed his winter gear so they rode back, against bike traffic, to Preston to make a hand-off of their winter clothes to their beloved wives. They received once in a lifetime stares of disbelief from cyclists who hinted they were going the wrong way. But anybody who knows Big Man is aware that such public opprobrium has no effect on him.

Big Man made his team members (alright there was really only one other person, Prez. Hale) and you could not really call that collection of people a team because Prez. Hale had pneumonia and was often times left behind to suffer on his own. Along the way, Big Man made many friends (at least in his own mind). He did this through many means. For example he sang “Bicycle Built for Two” to many tandem rider participants, “Oh What a Beautiful Morning” when awesome vistas came into his view and the U of U fight song when he thought he could get a rise from spectators.

Here are but a few examples of the friends met along the way:

One was a poor unsuspecting woman who needed to draft. Big Man let her, but made her pay the price of singing the Ute fight song. She did and also sang a Chi Omega Sorority song as well. A kindred spirit of Big Man! (Mr. MBA, please help LOTOJA promulgate a rule that only one such person can ride in a group.)

Another experience was a young family that encountered Big Man, proud of his UTE jersey, as they crawled up Snake River Canyon. A young mother and her four children ages approximately 11 to 7 were waiting to cheer on dad. At the beginning of the ride up the canyon, Big Man blurted out as he passed them “GO UTEs!”. They all had looks of amazement on their faces. Likely because they were surprised that such an old man could ride a bicycle. Several miles later they parked their minivan by the road side and Big Man sang the UTE’s fight song to them. Still later along the way they were again parked along the road and it was clear that their anticipation was no longer focused on dad, but on Big Man and they shouted at the top of their lungs as he passed by “GO COUGARS!”. And the final time the riders encountered them they were lined up by size along the road. Dad was now out of the picture. All their focus was all on Big Man, which of course is exactly where he likes it. They were waiting in anxious anticipation and sang out the Cougar fight song as Big Man passed along the way.

Finally, along the tail end of the ride Big Man encouraged a young woman named Kristi, who was struggling, to jump into the pace line, which she did for some time.

At dinner that night Big Man spent an hour visiting with the forgoing or their relatives who happened to be dining at the same time. That guy sure gets around. There are a lot of people who will need deep psychotherapy from over exposure to Big Man.

As Prez. Hale and Big Man rolled towards Teton Village the sun was setting behind the Tetons. When they crossed the new pedestrian bridge over the Snake River, Big Man’s pieces de resistance came when he stopped to take pictures of the sun set, knowing that if they did not finish before it set he would be DQ’d for yet another reason. Of course, he shrugged off the threat once again. Riding for some is not about the time and if you're looking for PRs, you might not want to invite Big Man.

Kudos to Papa Daines, who finished with a great time in spite of his prior health setback. And Bruner is an animal too! Last year he was laid up with punctured lungs and broken bones. We want to be like him if we ever grow up. Ron Hicks, congratulations to you and your relay team. It’s time for you to man-up and ride the entire race next year. Mr. MBA, quit wimping out. You could have easily made it, but not with Prez. Hale and Big Man, because they would have been cast aside due to your penchant to make too many rules. There was much time thinking of Kim along the way as the C Team struggled up Strawberry Summit where Big Man went back to fetch him when Kim struggled on his last ride with them. (We miss you Kim. You are always on our minds.) Sexy Legs, many thoughts were with you and your family and your father-in-law. He obviously was a great man. Wishing you could have been with the C Team, which knowing your superior athleticism would have been short lived. To all other PCR biking brothers and sisters, you were missed and hope you will rejoin the group soon someday.

YIPPY SKIPPY