This week's blog is being posted under official protest:
1. - Since when do we start changing the names of the riders that were given under inspiration by the BIG MAN. (Fast Man??? COME ON, maybe Fast Little Man, but remember he LOST the last stage against the BIG MAN)
2. Sean, whatever your last name is... (picking up strangers is kinda scary, he might have had a squirt gun) Don't believe everything they said about the BIG MAN. (I would have at least gotten your last name, email and invited you to dinner)
3. Riding to the top TWICE... What's that all about?? I remember when Bruner had problems and we made him ride Trax home. (Man, I leave for one ride and you all turn SOFT on me)
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Dear Brothers (meant in the biblical sense; you know, Cain
and Abel (you can read all about it in Genesis chapter 4): where one is willing
to kill the other, just to come out on top) of the Bike:
Yesterday was another adventure. We lost the Big
Man (where’s Woody?), and we picked up two new riders: Sean (we never got his
last name) and Chris Nelson. During the entire ride Sean and Chris heard
stories about the Big Man (there are so many that it would take thousands of
miles to tell a fraction of them). They listened to so many that at the
conclusion of the ride they said they felt like they have known him all their
lives. Brothers of this clan know that if you do not show up to protect
yourself you will be thrown under the bus many times, and if you do show up,
well, it will only likely happen a few times.
The route was chosen by the Fast Man (fka
Small Man). We larger people should never let smaller, and hence, faster people
chose the route. They invariably select hills because they have less weight to
lug up them. Our first goal was to conquer Wolf Creek Pass. Shortly after
commencing this odyssey we had the first casualty (some argue whether it really
was). Hale was stung on the lip by a bee. (click on link to see another fellow PCR that got stung on the lip and she didn't CRY.. :'( ) His lip began to swell to the point
he could barely talk. The group rode on, concluding that the risk of him going
into anaphylactic shock was worth the peace and quiet they enjoyed from his
temporary verbal incapacitation.
Then a miracle occurred on the second
climb--Weber Canyon. As we were making our assent, just 5 minutes from the
summit Nelson’s tube gave out. He claims that it was a defective valve stem,
but some of us older folks think it was contrived excuse for his inability to
keep up with most of us. Whatever the case, he was left behind--no surprise.
When we came back, about ten minutes later, we found him still wrestling with
the tire, leaving some us to wonder whether he graduated from the same school of
bike mechanics as Jensen, or if it was a further ruse to buy him more time
during which he could rest. Glauser, using his business analytical skills
organized a circle to watch the young lad (by comparison to the average age of
the group) attempt the repair, offering words of encouragement. Then the
supernatural event occurred. Bruner, who has enough energy to shame the
Energizer-Bunny, suggested that the entire group accompany Nelson BACK UP the
mountain we just come down. Somehow he was able to persuade the group to do
so. Now I do not know how many times this group has left my dying carcass to
rot in the hot summer sun to be the target of ravenous vultures, but the band of
brothers did not want Nelson to feel left out. I think that the Fast Man agreed
only because he had ascended 4,950 feet, and being an accountant who likes round
numbers, wanted to hit 5,000 feet. Brian Lloyd suggested it could only be one
of the two following causes: (1) they like Nelson or (2) Wood was not there. I
tend to think this rare moment of togetherness was caused by Wood’s absence.
Wood where were you when I needed you?
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